Darks clouds hang overhead with a clinical like mortality that seems to last forever. It’s a void of color floating with soulless conviction and it somehow seems capable of penetrating even the most hopeful thoughts and feelings. And there’s no escape. No relief. No sunshine to save the day. Nothing but doom and gloom and uneasiness to shadow your every action. The kind of internal turmoil, which got me on the bike in the first place.
Consciously I try to ignore the apprehension and quell the internal shuffling of the deck as I charge up the face of the mountain. But the hills, which are normally inviting, docile creatures, seem shallower and more confined. They spread their brash pessimism over the open road. Covering the correct ‘lines’ with doubt and confusion while leading you astray. They gnaw away at your sense of conviction. Hunting down that elusive sense of release and relaxation bit by bit. Instead offering nothing but a platter full of antagonism.
When the backend steps out for the third time, it’s clear that the dark, dangerous, forbidding clouds are signaling their dominance over the day at hand. The more you push, the more they tighten their grip, until eventually you come to realize that no matter what you do, the fate of the ride rests in their hands. They are the ones that are in control.
And yet there’s an odd harmony to the day.
Once you make the jump and stand back, it becomes obvious that while it’s not an optimal day for a ride, you’re still directly connected to the surroundings. You’re feeling their emotions, capturing their glances, chuckling at their misfortune and still availing yourself of a sensory experience. It’s not the affair you’d hoped for or even the one you planned, but it’s still real and truthful and uncompromised nonetheless. A slice of life that’s far from perfection but still contains the tenants of breaking away from the ‘norm’ and perhaps on a day like today, that’s just good enough to live with, because let’s face it, you really don’t have a choice. It’s up to the clouds.
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