The bike is bending in the corner as I fight an awkward mental state that stands somewhere in-between both today and tomorrow. So much seems perfect; The roads are relatively clear, the traffic is amazingly light, and the bike seems be to revealing in the fact that it’s out for a joyride. Yet I still can’t seem to allow myself to let go. I can’t disengage. After years of riding, one would think that by now I would have learned how to set aside the mental energy to simply enjoy the ride. For the first time in weeks there’s no pressing deadline, no heavy lifting to be done, nothing looming over my head. And yet I still can’t allow myself the freedom to be me. Or more to the point, the ability to enjoy the moment for what it is and not what it isn’t.

Coming around the next bend, I find myself wondering if I’ll ever master the skills involved in compartmentalizing the various facets of life. Will I ever be able to both consistently carve out the time to ride and the time to enjoy the moment? Today is the type of afternoon where I should be deriving a great deal of pleasure from the bike — A certain moto-satisfaction — however it seems damn near impossible to just ‘let go’ and enjoy the empty space between Point A and Point B because my mind seems to be traveling well outside the boundaries of my soul. Focused on the possibilities and not the practicality of the here and the now.

Part of this mental conundrum no doubt stems from the fact that at the moment I find myself in-between projects, a vast wasteland of wonder that seems rife with options but also filled with little to no certainty. After eleven broadcast spec projects one would think I would have come to grips with this sensation by now - of course it’s part of the intrinsic deal you pen when you sign up for this sort of life and lifestyle - and while I certainly deal with it better then I used to, I still can’t seem to escape the emotional turmoil it creates nor the sense that there’s something else out there that I ought to be doing at the moment…